One step at a time

I think I might be coming out of my depression, slowly. Things are starting to make me happy again. Yesterday I was sitting at my bench with my Minipod, and Africa came on. Sometimes I feel like my iPod can sense that I'm upset and picks a song to make me feel better. Of course, it may then follow up with something depressing like Dust in the Wind three songs later, so maybe I'm reading too much into this. Back to Africa, though. It's amazing that such a silly, cheesy song can bring me warm fuzzies. The reason, though, is because there are so many people that find it amazingly awesome in its cheesiness that when it plays, I feel closer to all of them. Especially my brother, who has grown to be one of the falling-down-laughing funniest people I know, if not the funniest. I'm so happy that as an adult he is totally someone I would want to be friends with, even if he wasn't my brother. One of the most treasured memories of my entire life is of my wedding reception, late, when most people have left, and Ben, John, and all our college friends who are left are dancing around like idiots to Africa. The DJ looked like he thought we were deranged, although come to think of it, who was he to judge? He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and probably the rattiest pair of shorts he owned. I still want to throttle him for that. I still miss my friend, though. In a way, it feels similar to how a break-up must feel (having never experienced one for real, I can only speculate). Tomorrow I want to go shopping at a mall we went to frequently, and it's sad to me. Like it was "our" place and she's not here. I feel kind of stupid for reacting this way. Especially since it is almost certainly all one-sided. Yes, she doesn't live here anymore, and maybe she misses me, but she gains so much more. She's with her husband, she has a new, nice, apartment, and she'll soon have a new job. It's me that's bereft.